Uncle Daniel's Indonesian maid went home after getting an emergency call that her toddler daughter is critically ill. my aunt scrambled together quite a sum of money from all of us, you know, each chipping in a couple of hundreds will help.
my next door neighbour passed away. she was 77 year old and lived with her son, daughter and son-in-law. all cramped in a three room flat. aunty was always independent, speaks mostly english, neatly groomed all the time. at the wake, the daughter showed us a photo album of her mom as a baby, as a youth, all poised with an unusual display of confidence and dignified look for a young woman in fifty century. she worked till just over a year ago i think, when her boss laid her off without even telling her. she told us just one morning she waited for the company bus that never came to fetch her, and that's how she found out she was being laid off. what an asshole boss. so anyway, i would want to remember aunty as how i always remember her, an independent, strong woman. she was always smiling when we exchanged greetings. the son-in-law narrated to us that she had fallen in the bathroom and probably had a stroke but it was too late when the son got home that night when he so happened to work till eight. i cannot imagine that i was at home but the world just went by.
saturday-- tim-- my sis' BF has a project to rush and called for assistance. he does designs and the work at hand was to showcase some artists' work on external environment's interwoven link to our daily lives. for details, visit the esplanade next week. i am very much a visual person and i enjoy looking at people's work. fabricating props is hard work, i must tell you. there are hundreds of things going on before you see the final product, little will you know that we got to hand-pick the "holes" on alphabets "a o b p q d B Q A D R O P" on scrolls of text. the beauty of the work is also to see an idea from concept to product. this time, it was slightly more bearable then the last time when we worked on the floor from dusk to dawn breaking our backs. this time, we had tables and chairs. so anyway, i am always happy to hang out with my sis cos we have a lot of talking to do. we can yak and yak and i am so glad to be rattling off with her. my sis is my most precious person since i was 7. so anyway, it is always nice that we go eat something after the job is done and this time, we even had a little spare time to go see those mini bikes racing at the car park outside the old national stadium. too bad tim's friend's bike got a punctured tyre or we could have a go at it.
in the pipeline
booked 2 tickets on Air Asia to Bangkok, going for a short trip with mom on 16th May
Anna's wedding 11th May!!! so soon!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Mom's Cooking
I try to make a point to see my mom at least on alternate Fridays
most of the time now, without Brendan. because i know that my mom is more relaxed without his presence.
because he sometimes he is impatient or has strong comments.
most of my relatives are not at ease with people who are opinionated
I often joke with Brendan that he is not a welcomed figure and he understands it and is often so sweet, he lets me go spend time with my mom and other relatives without tagging along.
I am glad that my relationship with Brendan is very open, honest, and mature.
I don't know if there is anything to do with my Enneagram or Astrology or character, but freedom is a very important thing for me.
I hate people telling me what to do, and especially what not to do.
you know the song?.. from movie - The First Wives' Club - "you don't know me,......don't tell me what to do...... and don't tell me what to say, just let me be myself,... don't put me on display"...
I don't know how I end up telling you this in this entry but there was once, i was with a friend and we were at kind of a cafe at a cinema complex and that cafe had very high ceiling but whatever the case, the table behind me sat one guy and a girl opposite him. that guy was lecturing his girlfriend about how she disgraced him in front of his family (i think the context was that she went zouk and either got drunk or high or something along that line when she got to his place) and he went on and on and on about "so you enjoyed it! behaving like that! you think you are so cool! or whatever,, i can't remember, but he was a bastard talking to her like that. it went on for like a whole 15 mins and the girl just sat there looking i think a bit passive. I hated it but it was not my business. but if it happened now, i would tell the girl to just leave the guy. i don't know, i may be wrong, because maaaaybe, just maybe, you can say that maybe that is the way the guy shows his "care". but no. i disagree. the whole time he was caring about his face and disgrace. well, back to the point of me telling you this. ok, so i told my friend "if i were the girl, i'll walk away. i don't need a guy like that" the punch line was my friend said that she got it worse from her BF (NOW EX). i went dumb and couldn't say another word. come on, girl, what's happening? ya, i agree some of us may be doing silly or even dangerous things like getting drunk but this is part and parcel of growing up, and may i add, "building of character" or "discovering yourself". whatever. and this, is also freedom my friends. freedom to make mistakes is freedom too. everybody deserves the freedom to make mistakes.
i'm done. talking.
Ramen at Great World City
you know, sometimes, or should i say... many times,
we run out of idea what to eat.
i am sick of "outside" food
how much of a restaurant, hawker or subway can you eat?
day in day out, most of the time we annoy ourselves with the question:
what do you want for dinner?
is eating such a chore?
there is no time to cook at night.
occasionally, i go visit my aunts, my mom, his mom, and i savour the home cooked food.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
20th to 23rd March Good Friday Weekend
what have i been up to the past week?
eve of good friday-- dinner with colleagues at royal plaza on scotts.
nice spread, good quality, $800+++ for ten of us. quite expensive, but i guess it is worth the quality.
good friday holiday
went out for the whole day with pammy & joo joo.
city plaza offers hair extensions and eye lash extension from $50 onward. i see more malay teens as patrons. that place reminds me of people's park where you get lots of hong kong & korean fashion but at slightly cheaper prices.
next stop to marina square. pam's mom needed good walking shoes for her china holiday and the family likes crocs. i am not a fan but joo joo's bronze/gold pair is especially nice.
good that i have a home to retreat to and pam came over to unwind, chat and watch HBO till late. joo joo is a very intelligent kid and she understands when her mom tells her she needs her personal time and space to be with her friends. pam, in my opinion is doing the best job as a young mother among my other friends. i don't know if it is the genes, the food nutritient, the nurturing or all the above that have joo joo be such a bright and intelligent girl. although some people may feel pity that pam is a single mother or that life is unfair for mother and child, for me, i see that they are being loved more than ever and that they are free from abuse and free to be themselves, albeit life must be tough but life should be good, if not better.
what else did i do.........?
eve of good friday-- dinner with colleagues at royal plaza on scotts.
nice spread, good quality, $800+++ for ten of us. quite expensive, but i guess it is worth the quality.
good friday holiday
went out for the whole day with pammy & joo joo.
city plaza offers hair extensions and eye lash extension from $50 onward. i see more malay teens as patrons. that place reminds me of people's park where you get lots of hong kong & korean fashion but at slightly cheaper prices.
next stop to marina square. pam's mom needed good walking shoes for her china holiday and the family likes crocs. i am not a fan but joo joo's bronze/gold pair is especially nice.
good that i have a home to retreat to and pam came over to unwind, chat and watch HBO till late. joo joo is a very intelligent kid and she understands when her mom tells her she needs her personal time and space to be with her friends. pam, in my opinion is doing the best job as a young mother among my other friends. i don't know if it is the genes, the food nutritient, the nurturing or all the above that have joo joo be such a bright and intelligent girl. although some people may feel pity that pam is a single mother or that life is unfair for mother and child, for me, i see that they are being loved more than ever and that they are free from abuse and free to be themselves, albeit life must be tough but life should be good, if not better.
what else did i do.........?
trying to recall.... saturday,, oh ya read "the five people you meet in heaven" and "tuesdays with morris"
not bad la, the second one squeezed a few drops of tears out of me.
it is always easy to let the daily churns and routine in life loose our sight of what's important.
so, the question is,,, what is important for you?
oh ya, i remember what i did on saturday
we went to the bank to meet our "financial planner" again.
you remember the other time this guy helped invested my CPF money?
i think he made 3 thousand dollars for me out of 40K or so. 7.5% is not bad at all.
so this guy,, his name is Steven Foo, worked as a FPA,, i don't know what it means,, financial planner associate? or something,, just the guy sitting at the table, selling you some investments you know nuts about, using the money you are detached with (CPF) and often people have the grave mistake of feeling to distant with the money in CPF and take risk they normally wouldn't have, had they been using the cash in their hands. i said distant, because our government makes a point to keep our untrained hands off till we age or need it for a terminally costly illness. (for the record, i feel that it is a good idea. and brendan says that it is because i am the younger generation who benefits from the scheme) so anyway, back to Steven.
Steven has been promoted from FPA to manager for three branches.
this is POSB we are talking about and i congratulate him and i think he must have done an EXCEPTIONALLY good job for him to be recognized and promoted over just 18 months, given that i think POSB must be one conservative bank. the last time we met him was that long ago and i asked him how does he make his living. it is a simple question and not rude to ask. he said mainly, he relies on commission and he has to make i think he said a million in profit or a million invested money, in the portfolio he carries, every month. i think i heard it correctly or remembered it correctly cos it was 18 months ago. but anyway, what i got from him was his determination to succeed and more importantly, he was humbly determined. i got the feeling that it is not a job he is depending on but rather, it was some kind of challenge he has given himself. so anyway, having read that i don't need to know everything about investing but rather, just put my money with someone who knows and is himself an investor, to make him my planner is a good idea to me and that was what we did. so again, i am back this time with 56K invested. Steven is now training a young chap who somewhat made Steven his mentor & wants to achieve what Steven did in the same short period. but hey hey, he was not even listening to me when i was asking a question. he was talking at the same time and talking about his product all the time. i don't get the feeling he cared.
this is the big difference between a stamper and a star performer. a stamper is just doing a task,, stamp passport (sorry, excuse my example) and a star is either born or self made.
i don't think my point is credible,, my point is,, a star probably has gone through some really rough patches and emerged wised and grand.
i told that to my friend Sueanne before. i asked her. hey Sueanne (she doesn't like being called Sue), i said you know, Sueanne, i always feel that some people eludes a kind of compassion, calmness and has an air of grandness, all these qualities come out at the same time all the time, it is the persona and i always feel that these people are outstanding and also, they have gone through some troubled times but somewhat came out of it a victor. i said she has those qualities, "did you have a hard life before?" i asked.
she totally knew what i was driving at.
she smiled and told me her story.
so anyway, back to why i'm telling you this.
there are just some people, not many of them i see, are like that. ,,,,, an air of grandness not born from the grandness of their family but the grandness of life. life's tougher sides most of their younger time. there is a sense of them "getting it". as in, not being bitter or sour but in fact, appreciating it or embracing it. and these people are just so good to look at.
their humility and calmness make them walk like Mosses.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Great Doors Swing on Small Hinges
Recently, i re-read the book - "the one minute millionaire"
and experienced many re-affirmed A-HAs, (awareness and clicking of the brain)
Chapter on Great Door Swing on Small Hinges, talks about leverage.
To do any mountainouse task, it will be laborious to do it alone; like moving one giant door aside to enter a room.
We need leverage. like hinges are levers for doors.
Then, the task becomes effortless.
There are many forms of leverages, for example, we could employ other people's time, money, experience, expertise, labour, strategy.
We don't have to "do it all over again", we read, learn, digest on other people's work, their success and failure stories. we could also learn to delegate.
So that's what i've been doing. and i am glad to tell you that i now leave work at 5.30pm, hitching a ride from a new colleague who leaves the office on the dot (due to the long distance home, she has to leave early to avoid traffic jam) and i try to hitch a ride as often as possible so that it becomes a habit for me to firstly be more efficient at work, secondly, have a balanced life after work.
I watch Korean dramas, cable, read, go for a walk. anything, just to unwind.
I also have to tell you about one other chapter on Strategy from the book.
you see, the gist of the book is that to be a millionaire, it will only take a minute.
life changes with small, minute thinking, action, behaviour, etc.
So anyway, the story goes like this:-
A lecturer puts a tray of Zirconia crystals to the class. there is one real diamond among 59 crystals. each student could attempt to spot the real diamond and the diamond is his / hers to keep if they could do it under 60 seconds.
Everyone was excited and wanted to try, but no one was able to succeed at it.
The lecturer demonstrated by flipping every piece of the gem to rest on its flat side. one by one, and he did it in 55 seconds or so. then, it is easy to spot the genuine diamond as it has some fickle / spot, while the rest of the crystals were uniformly shinning. this is obvious even to the naked eyes.
Now that we know the strategy, it seems like an effortless or do-able task doesn't it?
The point is, there are or may be, simple ways to achieve seeming impossible tasks.
we just need to know the strategy or locate the person or resource (knowledge eg: books) who knows it and is willing to share with you, that is.
so on and on.
Interesting?
and experienced many re-affirmed A-HAs, (awareness and clicking of the brain)
Chapter on Great Door Swing on Small Hinges, talks about leverage.
To do any mountainouse task, it will be laborious to do it alone; like moving one giant door aside to enter a room.
We need leverage. like hinges are levers for doors.
Then, the task becomes effortless.
There are many forms of leverages, for example, we could employ other people's time, money, experience, expertise, labour, strategy.
We don't have to "do it all over again", we read, learn, digest on other people's work, their success and failure stories. we could also learn to delegate.
So that's what i've been doing. and i am glad to tell you that i now leave work at 5.30pm, hitching a ride from a new colleague who leaves the office on the dot (due to the long distance home, she has to leave early to avoid traffic jam) and i try to hitch a ride as often as possible so that it becomes a habit for me to firstly be more efficient at work, secondly, have a balanced life after work.
I watch Korean dramas, cable, read, go for a walk. anything, just to unwind.
I also have to tell you about one other chapter on Strategy from the book.
you see, the gist of the book is that to be a millionaire, it will only take a minute.
life changes with small, minute thinking, action, behaviour, etc.
So anyway, the story goes like this:-
A lecturer puts a tray of Zirconia crystals to the class. there is one real diamond among 59 crystals. each student could attempt to spot the real diamond and the diamond is his / hers to keep if they could do it under 60 seconds.
Everyone was excited and wanted to try, but no one was able to succeed at it.
The lecturer demonstrated by flipping every piece of the gem to rest on its flat side. one by one, and he did it in 55 seconds or so. then, it is easy to spot the genuine diamond as it has some fickle / spot, while the rest of the crystals were uniformly shinning. this is obvious even to the naked eyes.
Now that we know the strategy, it seems like an effortless or do-able task doesn't it?
The point is, there are or may be, simple ways to achieve seeming impossible tasks.
we just need to know the strategy or locate the person or resource (knowledge eg: books) who knows it and is willing to share with you, that is.
so on and on.
Interesting?
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
3 short stories
While at the gambling table that day, one Thai worker tong bang on my bet while i was at the black jack table. he also tong-banged the female player next to me. we were both a little annoyed by him because he kept nudgging us at the arm and shoulder whenever we had a good card in hand. i dont like people to nudge at me, sometimes i chide mark for doing that while watching TV or movie. it is like "hey hey, pay attention" kind of nudge or "look here" kind of nudge, which gets me irritated. so anyway, that Thai worker was doing that. with his bet of $30, we were limited to bet our share of $50 as the banker had a cap to each bet. we were unable to bet more that we wanted since he kept tagging along. we were trying to keep our patience when i heard him say in broken hokkien "wa bo lai, li bo heng ah!" meaning "if not for me being here, you won't be as lucky". that got me laughing. here we are, full of ourselves, thinking that we are the ones allowing him to tag on us, while he thinks that we are winning because he is lucky. so much so for being snobbish. sometimes, there is more to just our selfish view.
this epsiode reminds me of two other reflections i made of myself. i admit that i am sometimes too full of myself but i do reflect on it and become a better person, hopefully.
once i was at our regular roti prata stall at river valley. i always have a prata with a can of coke. always coke and nothing else. then one day, the staff brought me vanilla coke instead of the classic one. i summoned him to my table and asked him what was it about. i must have looked fierce because he timidly said that vanilla coke is the same and also very nice. i said how could it be the same?! i want just coke. he apologised that they ran out of it, why dont i just try. i hastily said ok, next time please store up your coke, it is staple.
after a sip, i had to bite my tongue.
i liked the vanilla version!
he was right, vanilla was nice.
i was just too stubborn to try new things and kept thinking that my loyalty is such a pride.
boo boo.
the last story i have for you happened a long time ago, when Diamaru was still Diamaru if you know what i mean.
i bought a digital weighing scale from the departmental store which cost $68. it was "hard saved money" as i was broke but had to have a digital scale. obesssed with weight at that time.
so anyway, i couldnt get it to work when i got home. there was no numbers on the display. i checked that the batteries were new but it just wouldnt work. so i lugged the machine back to the store the next evening, angry that the thing was not working. i must have been confrontational then, and the poor sales girl referred me to her senior.
after inspection, the senior girl pulled out a small plastic tab that was stuck to a slot underneath the machine. that tab was a protection sheet for the new equipment which was working fine. i was aghast that i was so stupid. the girl was so kind, she didn't give me a face. if i were her, i might rub it in. but she didn't. to top my shame, she said, "i'm sorry you have to come back here, it must be heavy carrying this". gosh. where do i hide my face?
so you see,,, be kind. we are not always right.
everytime i encounter very cocky and unreasonable customer at work, i always think of that sales girl, and if i am clear minded, i will be just as kind.
gee.
this epsiode reminds me of two other reflections i made of myself. i admit that i am sometimes too full of myself but i do reflect on it and become a better person, hopefully.
once i was at our regular roti prata stall at river valley. i always have a prata with a can of coke. always coke and nothing else. then one day, the staff brought me vanilla coke instead of the classic one. i summoned him to my table and asked him what was it about. i must have looked fierce because he timidly said that vanilla coke is the same and also very nice. i said how could it be the same?! i want just coke. he apologised that they ran out of it, why dont i just try. i hastily said ok, next time please store up your coke, it is staple.
after a sip, i had to bite my tongue.
i liked the vanilla version!
he was right, vanilla was nice.
i was just too stubborn to try new things and kept thinking that my loyalty is such a pride.
boo boo.
the last story i have for you happened a long time ago, when Diamaru was still Diamaru if you know what i mean.
i bought a digital weighing scale from the departmental store which cost $68. it was "hard saved money" as i was broke but had to have a digital scale. obesssed with weight at that time.
so anyway, i couldnt get it to work when i got home. there was no numbers on the display. i checked that the batteries were new but it just wouldnt work. so i lugged the machine back to the store the next evening, angry that the thing was not working. i must have been confrontational then, and the poor sales girl referred me to her senior.
after inspection, the senior girl pulled out a small plastic tab that was stuck to a slot underneath the machine. that tab was a protection sheet for the new equipment which was working fine. i was aghast that i was so stupid. the girl was so kind, she didn't give me a face. if i were her, i might rub it in. but she didn't. to top my shame, she said, "i'm sorry you have to come back here, it must be heavy carrying this". gosh. where do i hide my face?
so you see,,, be kind. we are not always right.
everytime i encounter very cocky and unreasonable customer at work, i always think of that sales girl, and if i am clear minded, i will be just as kind.
gee.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Valentine's Dinner
we always have company dinner on the eighth day of the lunar new year as the company makes a prayer offering to the heavens on that night and it has to be after midnight. this year, the date coincides with valentine's day, hence there is no candle-lit dinner for me but a group dinner with my colleagues. we sat at the warehouse and the mobile-cater-kitchen food reminds me of those chinese wedding dinner in the 70s. not that i have been to one in the 70s but the feel was nice and humble.
Pai Tee Gong
It is a big event for the Hokkiens on the eighth day of the lunar new year for prayers to the Heaven. this is the prayer set-up at the front of my parent-company's door last night.i was sitting at the corner, relaxing and enjoying the midnight breeze.
the folding of "gold" incense paper is symbolic of gold / wealth.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Lunar New Year 2008
the Elder shifu at the temple passed away the week before lunar new year.
i felt a little sad because i felt that i have not thanked her properly for approving my dad's request for a niche at the temple. i know for a fact that niche spaces are scarce and many temple goers and devotees were unable to secure a space. my family is not true-blue temple goer, we only visit on occasions, hence it was really an exception and a great privilege for us to have two niches for my parents. i did thank Elder shifu that time but i still feel that i have not thanked enough. i guess what i can do now is to be more giving and contribute to other forms of activity needs at the temple. like resources for the tuition classes.
my parent company has a culture on card games- black jack and four-eights-card game, for CNY. it was tempting to be joining the games as the stakes are very high, but i am glad i stayed with my family & relatives for the first four days of CNY. we went visiting and i tell you, my aunt margaret's Teochew fishball, fish maw soup is SUPER-DUPERLY GOOD. my uncle ho's bean curd skinroll is also very delicious.
i had already lost a substantial amount of money on the table when i returned to work and stayed back for the games at night. it is really scary as i am still thinking of returning to the table despite blowing my allocated budget. it is no wonder some dicipline/government/culture/religion rather ban gambling than to leave it to the people............
i guess i have a lot to learn still.
we visited stephanie at her new home at jurong west.
it was big, spacious and made me realise that i too want a bigger unit.
we have lived in our small flat for four years now and this year end, we have always planned to buy a bigger unit when we are allowed to sell. (HDB rules that we have to own it for 5 yrs before we could sell) but i am beginning to love my surroundings, the jogging track, the vicinity to holland village and orchard. and of course the 5 mins walk to the mrt station. i am going to miss all these when i trade them with a more comfortable space that i want. well, i will just savour every moment of what i have now.
chao.
i felt a little sad because i felt that i have not thanked her properly for approving my dad's request for a niche at the temple. i know for a fact that niche spaces are scarce and many temple goers and devotees were unable to secure a space. my family is not true-blue temple goer, we only visit on occasions, hence it was really an exception and a great privilege for us to have two niches for my parents. i did thank Elder shifu that time but i still feel that i have not thanked enough. i guess what i can do now is to be more giving and contribute to other forms of activity needs at the temple. like resources for the tuition classes.
my parent company has a culture on card games- black jack and four-eights-card game, for CNY. it was tempting to be joining the games as the stakes are very high, but i am glad i stayed with my family & relatives for the first four days of CNY. we went visiting and i tell you, my aunt margaret's Teochew fishball, fish maw soup is SUPER-DUPERLY GOOD. my uncle ho's bean curd skinroll is also very delicious.
i had already lost a substantial amount of money on the table when i returned to work and stayed back for the games at night. it is really scary as i am still thinking of returning to the table despite blowing my allocated budget. it is no wonder some dicipline/government/culture/religion rather ban gambling than to leave it to the people............
i guess i have a lot to learn still.
we visited stephanie at her new home at jurong west.
it was big, spacious and made me realise that i too want a bigger unit.
we have lived in our small flat for four years now and this year end, we have always planned to buy a bigger unit when we are allowed to sell. (HDB rules that we have to own it for 5 yrs before we could sell) but i am beginning to love my surroundings, the jogging track, the vicinity to holland village and orchard. and of course the 5 mins walk to the mrt station. i am going to miss all these when i trade them with a more comfortable space that i want. well, i will just savour every moment of what i have now.
chao.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
weekend 27 & 28 January
Saturday 27 Jan
When we first moved in, we consulted a feng shui master for our house.
that was almost 5 years ago.
this year, i don't know why but Brendan made an appointment for review.
the feng shui master recommended some items to be placed strategically etc and he has also picked up TCM along the way in the past five years and prescribe some herbs for me.
No cold drinks no deep fried food and must keep myself warm.
said that oxygen is not travelling well and i need to actively make an effort to take care.
oh, and ya, to go to bed before 11pm.
Well, i made an effort to sleep early at 9 & 10, i must say that it is a good thing for me.
at least in the morning, i dont lie in bed and dread to get up.
i used to dread waking up to go to work, but at least for the past 2 days, i woke up fresher.
I hope i can keep up this effort.
Sunday 28 Jan
Second visit to the dentist for my root canal treatment.
it was TERRIBLE
the canal was deeper than usual and it was very very scary that the dentist has to probe to the furthest to find the part where it hurts most!
i vow that i will take care of my teeth because this is really damn painful and scary.
let's not talk about it.
When we first moved in, we consulted a feng shui master for our house.
that was almost 5 years ago.
this year, i don't know why but Brendan made an appointment for review.
the feng shui master recommended some items to be placed strategically etc and he has also picked up TCM along the way in the past five years and prescribe some herbs for me.
No cold drinks no deep fried food and must keep myself warm.
said that oxygen is not travelling well and i need to actively make an effort to take care.
oh, and ya, to go to bed before 11pm.
Well, i made an effort to sleep early at 9 & 10, i must say that it is a good thing for me.
at least in the morning, i dont lie in bed and dread to get up.
i used to dread waking up to go to work, but at least for the past 2 days, i woke up fresher.
I hope i can keep up this effort.
Sunday 28 Jan
Second visit to the dentist for my root canal treatment.
it was TERRIBLE
the canal was deeper than usual and it was very very scary that the dentist has to probe to the furthest to find the part where it hurts most!
i vow that i will take care of my teeth because this is really damn painful and scary.
let's not talk about it.
Monday, January 21, 2008
weekend Jan 19 & 20
i am feeling so tired now. body aching.
been walking for 2 days. went shopping for CNY clothings. kind of forced myself to purchase a set of clothes but not to my satisfaction.... why is it i could normally find clothes but not when i want to? or is this just psychological?
each year i become fatter at the waist, face, arms & thighs and sometimes, it is rather depressing to have to get bigger dress sizes.
but i no longer hate my body anymore. i have passed the phase and i now love my body for it is me.
recently, a local comedian died of supposedly difficulty in breathing and it is implied that it could be linked to some diet pills he was consuming.
as much as we tend to play-down our obsession with being slim & beautiful, some people do push the boundary without realising.
slimming business is buzzling here, you know, my beautician told me that some girls spend 7 thousand dollars on slimming packages at the saloon she works in. some begged for a loan from their friends.
well, i guess we all have our insecurities and a certain image that we might crave to have.
so anyway, i went for my root canal treatment. Dr. Lum said it was a challenging case. the pup was so deep, she had to give me extra anestatia (spelling) and i gestured NO! to her. she said No? No? you will rather bear with the pain?
i gestured "yes, yes".
cos 4 injections is enough. i really dont want more. so after 1.5hrs of propping open my mouth wide, i finally had the pup cleaned and washed. five more visits to complete the procedure, includes crowning and a $1600 fee. there goes a portion of my BONUS.
but it's ok, i am happy to spend. cos dental is really very very important. tell you what,, i am an "away from" person. there are generally two types of motivation. "toward" & "away from". for instance: if you spring into action and get going with the idea of a reward or a result that you want, then you are a "toward" person. eg: you see a sexy megastar and you read that she wakes up at 430am daily to jog, do yoga or whatever, and you want to be like her, you attempt to have a similar routine and you successfully get into the routine and got the results you aimed for, then you are a toward person who is motivated with a carrot dangling in front.
on the other hand, if you see an unflattering photo of yourself, and you go "oh gosh, is that really me?!" and you spring into a series of gym session, atkins diet etc, then you are an "away from" person. you want to be far away from that image. you are a "rod" person, means "do this! or else!". so anyway, i am an "away from" person. where was i? ok, once i watched a documentry about an Egyptian King who was freful of dying. (many kings were). He was obsessed with mortality and tried many means to prolong his living. it was fine and he lived a long life accorinding history. then one day, he had a terrible toothache. despite the expertise of medical people he had, they were unable to save him and he died of the tooth infection that went to other parts of his body. it must have been 6 years ago when i watched that over discovery channel and i had faithfully taken care of my dental since then.
i am a rather stubborn person, my dentist explained to me that bacteria once reached the pup will only mutiply. i said that it could perhaps just stay there and not cause any pain. but she said it is unlikely. i researched further on the net and finally relented that it is a matter of time for the bacteria to infect the rest of the tooth if it had been bad already. so, please, take care of your teeth because bacteria is not something that will simpily go away.
ok so much so for teething problems.
been walking for 2 days. went shopping for CNY clothings. kind of forced myself to purchase a set of clothes but not to my satisfaction.... why is it i could normally find clothes but not when i want to? or is this just psychological?
each year i become fatter at the waist, face, arms & thighs and sometimes, it is rather depressing to have to get bigger dress sizes.
but i no longer hate my body anymore. i have passed the phase and i now love my body for it is me.
recently, a local comedian died of supposedly difficulty in breathing and it is implied that it could be linked to some diet pills he was consuming.
as much as we tend to play-down our obsession with being slim & beautiful, some people do push the boundary without realising.
slimming business is buzzling here, you know, my beautician told me that some girls spend 7 thousand dollars on slimming packages at the saloon she works in. some begged for a loan from their friends.
well, i guess we all have our insecurities and a certain image that we might crave to have.
so anyway, i went for my root canal treatment. Dr. Lum said it was a challenging case. the pup was so deep, she had to give me extra anestatia (spelling) and i gestured NO! to her. she said No? No? you will rather bear with the pain?
i gestured "yes, yes".
cos 4 injections is enough. i really dont want more. so after 1.5hrs of propping open my mouth wide, i finally had the pup cleaned and washed. five more visits to complete the procedure, includes crowning and a $1600 fee. there goes a portion of my BONUS.
but it's ok, i am happy to spend. cos dental is really very very important. tell you what,, i am an "away from" person. there are generally two types of motivation. "toward" & "away from". for instance: if you spring into action and get going with the idea of a reward or a result that you want, then you are a "toward" person. eg: you see a sexy megastar and you read that she wakes up at 430am daily to jog, do yoga or whatever, and you want to be like her, you attempt to have a similar routine and you successfully get into the routine and got the results you aimed for, then you are a toward person who is motivated with a carrot dangling in front.
on the other hand, if you see an unflattering photo of yourself, and you go "oh gosh, is that really me?!" and you spring into a series of gym session, atkins diet etc, then you are an "away from" person. you want to be far away from that image. you are a "rod" person, means "do this! or else!". so anyway, i am an "away from" person. where was i? ok, once i watched a documentry about an Egyptian King who was freful of dying. (many kings were). He was obsessed with mortality and tried many means to prolong his living. it was fine and he lived a long life accorinding history. then one day, he had a terrible toothache. despite the expertise of medical people he had, they were unable to save him and he died of the tooth infection that went to other parts of his body. it must have been 6 years ago when i watched that over discovery channel and i had faithfully taken care of my dental since then.
i am a rather stubborn person, my dentist explained to me that bacteria once reached the pup will only mutiply. i said that it could perhaps just stay there and not cause any pain. but she said it is unlikely. i researched further on the net and finally relented that it is a matter of time for the bacteria to infect the rest of the tooth if it had been bad already. so, please, take care of your teeth because bacteria is not something that will simpily go away.
ok so much so for teething problems.
me
do you think i need a nose-bridge?
i can get gel-fillers at a GP for $750... supposed to last 3 to 5 years.
i am afraid to try but at the same time, thinking to try.
me again
picture taken with sony-ericsson mobile phone cybershot K800i
not bad at all
fake things include: eye lash, tattoed eye brows
genuine things include: smile, soul & mole
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
control
21 December GUARDIAN PHARMACY-HOLLAND SHPG CTR S'POR $26.40
21 December WATSONS PERSONAL CARE STORES SINGAPORE $26.25
29 December PARKSON SUNWAY PYRAMID 129.80 MALAYSIAN RINGGIT $57.71
03 January BOSSINI SINGAPORE $26.00
04 January STARHUB CABLE VISION LTD SINGAPORE $59.49
04 January PAYMENT BY TELEPHONE/INTERNET BANKING $672.15
05 January G2000- RAFFLES CITY $148.50
05 January J & R BOSSINI FASHION - MARINA SQUARE $24.00
05 January ROBINSON & CO S PTE LTD SINGAPORE $235.40
05 January MARKS & SPENCER - RAFFLES CITY $14.20
11 January ISETAN (S) LIMITED $150.40
14 January SA SA COSMETIC CO (S) PTE LTD SINGAPORE $26.70
14 January GUARDIAN - GREAT WORLD CITY SINGAPORE $29.52
20 December HANG TEN SINGAPORE $20.00
20 December THAT CD SHOP $49.90
22 December S'PORE PETROLEUM CO LTD SINGAPORE $60.11
02 January S'PORE PETROLEUM CO LTD SINGAPORE $61.50
09 January S'PORE PETROLEUM CO LTD SINGAPORE $64.77
15 January S'PORE PETROLEUM CO LTD SINGAPORE $61.38
Total $1142.23
I have recently begun to monitor my credit card bills.
averagely, they come up to around two thousand dollars a month.
that is too much money spent. way too much.
but then again, the stuff i buy, like clothings, comestics & toiletries are but regular items and not really very expensive. so how come my expenses are so high??
should i cave up myself and hide at home? dont step out, wont spend money?
that wont work too. but i must really do something about this because it does not serve me spending too much.
21 December WATSONS PERSONAL CARE STORES SINGAPORE $26.25
29 December PARKSON SUNWAY PYRAMID 129.80 MALAYSIAN RINGGIT $57.71
03 January BOSSINI SINGAPORE $26.00
04 January STARHUB CABLE VISION LTD SINGAPORE $59.49
04 January PAYMENT BY TELEPHONE/INTERNET BANKING $672.15
05 January G2000- RAFFLES CITY $148.50
05 January J & R BOSSINI FASHION - MARINA SQUARE $24.00
05 January ROBINSON & CO S PTE LTD SINGAPORE $235.40
05 January MARKS & SPENCER - RAFFLES CITY $14.20
11 January ISETAN (S) LIMITED $150.40
14 January SA SA COSMETIC CO (S) PTE LTD SINGAPORE $26.70
14 January GUARDIAN - GREAT WORLD CITY SINGAPORE $29.52
20 December HANG TEN SINGAPORE $20.00
20 December THAT CD SHOP $49.90
22 December S'PORE PETROLEUM CO LTD SINGAPORE $60.11
02 January S'PORE PETROLEUM CO LTD SINGAPORE $61.50
09 January S'PORE PETROLEUM CO LTD SINGAPORE $64.77
15 January S'PORE PETROLEUM CO LTD SINGAPORE $61.38
Total $1142.23
I have recently begun to monitor my credit card bills.
averagely, they come up to around two thousand dollars a month.
that is too much money spent. way too much.
but then again, the stuff i buy, like clothings, comestics & toiletries are but regular items and not really very expensive. so how come my expenses are so high??
should i cave up myself and hide at home? dont step out, wont spend money?
that wont work too. but i must really do something about this because it does not serve me spending too much.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Toothache
i tried saving my molar,, filled it twice but there is accute pain when it comes in contact with cool water from the tap when i have to brush my teeth. **sigh** another root canal treatment? = pain, time & $$. no dental reimbursement. how?
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Let me begin by telling you about Chumi.
Chumi and Brendan have been friends for the last twenty-five years. We meet up sometimes when he is home. He works in KL and has been there for the past ten years. He is a sweet soul but more often than not, he is kind of depressed, i don’t know over what,, probably career & love life. But for the last few years, it was kinda better cos his work has shown results and he has had a fiancé for quite some time now, although it is also kinda grim cos their wedding has been postponed a couple of times and there was an underlying question if it is gonna happen at all but he has not brought up the matter and we didn’t prod. The last time Chumi came over to our place was not so long ago, in October. He was telling me about his woe at work like how his bosses asked him to substitute inferior beverages and sell it like the premium thing, and other stuff that conflicted his principles. I was just encouraging him to venture on his own cos i can tell that he is quite an expert in his field (food & beverage) and that many of his clients liked him. All he needed was some courage to try, since finance is something he can work on. hence i was pretty surprised that he later let on that he decided to have his own business and that some big clients have already told him they would be supporting him. I guess by housing us at his place and spending time with us was his way of thanking us? I don’t know. You know, i am quite straight forward. If i have to thank a person, i sit that person down and look him in the eye to say how i appreciate it or how it had helped me. So anyway, back to our trip. We stayed at Chumi’s investment house, which was not empty but not lived-in either. If was off Shah Alam, in Selengor which is 20 mins drive from KL city. He said he bought the house as an investment but i wondered why then, doesn’t he rent it? He said he didn’t want to rent to strangers cos “you’ll never know”. Kind of irony i thought. Anyway, I am glad for that sleepy town because i really needed to detoxify. The first 2 sleeps there were just nightmare. I mean, i had dreams about work, about loosing communications and about angry people. Oh, that is just so stressful and awful but i guess it was just detoxifying and it had to come out of my system. You know, the mind is such a fragile thing, having peace-of-mind is really bliss. So anyway, i am glad to say that the rest of my sleeps were alright.
When we first got to the house, it was dusty and had cob webs. It was new and furnished, just not lived in. It reminds me of my childhood home at Cairnhill where it was on the ground and had lots of sunlight and i love drinking my morning coffee facing the kitchen door where i could see some greenery. I inspire to live in a landed home so that i can be close to the ground, which for me is an important thing. Not to mention, i love seeing a big sky not eaten by buildings and scrapers. I don’t know why, but big sky is therapeutic for me. We cleaned the place as we “lived” there for four days or so. It is just natural to be cleaning since we needed to use the place. I will always remember the night we had some white wine and sang acoustic the whole night till 5 in the morning. Brendan is really fabulous, I call him a jukebox. He could sing at a drop of a hat, it was so romantic and fun for all of us. The next night, we had the karaoke thingy called “magic mic”, it is a gadget that has 2000 songs pre-stored you just need to key in the numbers to select a song. Though the images were cheesy calendar looking still pictures, there were still quite a number of good songs we loved and again, we sang till 5am or so. I even did a Marcaraena dance. It was just one fabulous, laughing good time.
I could only say we went to one party, which was the “speed zone” campaign by Ferrari for their world tour 2007. As it was held at Zouk, it was nothing short of Zouk or should i say, it was just as what you would expect, Zouk. I say, Zouk did a good job remodelling the success they have at home and just repeated the formula there. Anyway, it was an average party but we made more fun for ourselves. I was laughing my head off with my antics, you know me, i am a little crazy sometimes. And it is good fun that i had a friend to clown with me. There were a line of royal-looking mirrors that lined the walls to velvet when we moved from the main room to velvet. Along the way, i had to announce “mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” and we would lock our arms to run to the mirror and scream our lungs out, mixture of screaming and laughing at the same time. I don’t know how is that fun now but it sure was when it happened.
Our countdown was at KL Tower, which is one of Malaysia’s monuments. We “partied” at the viewing gallery which was like on the 150th or 200th floor, i can’t remember, but it is 421 mtrs above ground, overseeing the city and had half a dozen fireworks going on at the stroke of midnight, welcoming the new year. I said “partied” because the place was not a discotheque though there was a live band that mixed many tracks at their chorus, though i must say they were quite good. But the rest of the people there was mostly Muslims and didn’t / couldn’t drink alcohol, hence it was more like a C.C party. Community Centre party. I was so amused with the water bottle they gave away. It was shaped like the tower but no one else was as amused as me. I asked Chumi to get me a dozen of those and val thought i was out of my mind lugging it back home. At the gallery, they even had a platform like what you would see at a Muslim wedding where the couple sits on and people taking pictures. I dragged Brendan along to do the cheesy thing to take a picture with me for the fun of it. I have decided to be more cheesy than ever and let go of any up-tightness i may have because i feel that living includes being able to laugh at things and at myself sometimes. So anyway, we did have too much drink and were all tipsy. On our way down from the tower, we met the DJ in the lift and we all sang happy birthday to val from the 150th floor to ground. Then, i caught one group of people who had dinner and countdown at the restaurant above. They were so cheesy i couldn’t help taking a dig at them. You see, the women all dressed the same, in their LBD little black dress, who would know who-is-who? i keep joking that they were “a flock of socialites”, socialite-wanna-be that is. Before you think that our neighbours are not as stylish, i have to bite my tongue when i got to the other pub downstairs. The women there could give us a run for our money, they were modern and wow, were curvy at the right places. Sexy sirens. They allure sexiness like one seductive cat. The next morning, i told Brendan that if i were a man in KL, i probably would stay off the scene because i don’t think i could resist those sexy women or be faithful to one. So i guess there are both fashionable babes and those screaming mass-production ones there. Whatever the case, val was unhappy we had to go back and cut the party short. On the way back, she bit me on the arm. I don’t think she knew what she was doing and anyway, it happened. Of course i was mad at that moment, i am human made of flesh but i was grateful for that episode after that. Cos i learnt about my fury, about making amends, about love and understanding. All in an episode, how fascinating. for a split nano-second, i thought i could almost understand how God cursed Man but took it all back. I recapped my learning and joked that i was poppye the sailor man, making Brendan laughed his heads off and he had the humour to take a snap of me cooling the swell with a freezing can of tiger beer . Anyway, i do hope that val will move on and don’t think so much about it, like i said, i am glad it happened.
I also learnt about “trip / grip”. Trip- meaning an altered state of mind where some many people needed. You know, the feeling of all things loose, freedom and just loosing control. For a lay man, this can be achieved with just a drop too many and this is just normal clean fun. But as human, we tend to push our limits, try our limits, and sometimes, we don’t know when to stop. That’s when the grip part comes in. Grip is to have a hold. Have a hold of yourself when you are testing the limits. That is fine art. It takes a lot to know yourself and to know that sometimes, some things are not within your control, plus sometimes, some things get out-of-control. So you carry on exploring until you get both trip and grip at the same time. But you must always know what and when is it enough.
When we first got to the house, it was dusty and had cob webs. It was new and furnished, just not lived in. It reminds me of my childhood home at Cairnhill where it was on the ground and had lots of sunlight and i love drinking my morning coffee facing the kitchen door where i could see some greenery. I inspire to live in a landed home so that i can be close to the ground, which for me is an important thing. Not to mention, i love seeing a big sky not eaten by buildings and scrapers. I don’t know why, but big sky is therapeutic for me. We cleaned the place as we “lived” there for four days or so. It is just natural to be cleaning since we needed to use the place. I will always remember the night we had some white wine and sang acoustic the whole night till 5 in the morning. Brendan is really fabulous, I call him a jukebox. He could sing at a drop of a hat, it was so romantic and fun for all of us. The next night, we had the karaoke thingy called “magic mic”, it is a gadget that has 2000 songs pre-stored you just need to key in the numbers to select a song. Though the images were cheesy calendar looking still pictures, there were still quite a number of good songs we loved and again, we sang till 5am or so. I even did a Marcaraena dance. It was just one fabulous, laughing good time.
I could only say we went to one party, which was the “speed zone” campaign by Ferrari for their world tour 2007. As it was held at Zouk, it was nothing short of Zouk or should i say, it was just as what you would expect, Zouk. I say, Zouk did a good job remodelling the success they have at home and just repeated the formula there. Anyway, it was an average party but we made more fun for ourselves. I was laughing my head off with my antics, you know me, i am a little crazy sometimes. And it is good fun that i had a friend to clown with me. There were a line of royal-looking mirrors that lined the walls to velvet when we moved from the main room to velvet. Along the way, i had to announce “mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” and we would lock our arms to run to the mirror and scream our lungs out, mixture of screaming and laughing at the same time. I don’t know how is that fun now but it sure was when it happened.
Our countdown was at KL Tower, which is one of Malaysia’s monuments. We “partied” at the viewing gallery which was like on the 150th or 200th floor, i can’t remember, but it is 421 mtrs above ground, overseeing the city and had half a dozen fireworks going on at the stroke of midnight, welcoming the new year. I said “partied” because the place was not a discotheque though there was a live band that mixed many tracks at their chorus, though i must say they were quite good. But the rest of the people there was mostly Muslims and didn’t / couldn’t drink alcohol, hence it was more like a C.C party. Community Centre party. I was so amused with the water bottle they gave away. It was shaped like the tower but no one else was as amused as me. I asked Chumi to get me a dozen of those and val thought i was out of my mind lugging it back home. At the gallery, they even had a platform like what you would see at a Muslim wedding where the couple sits on and people taking pictures. I dragged Brendan along to do the cheesy thing to take a picture with me for the fun of it. I have decided to be more cheesy than ever and let go of any up-tightness i may have because i feel that living includes being able to laugh at things and at myself sometimes. So anyway, we did have too much drink and were all tipsy. On our way down from the tower, we met the DJ in the lift and we all sang happy birthday to val from the 150th floor to ground. Then, i caught one group of people who had dinner and countdown at the restaurant above. They were so cheesy i couldn’t help taking a dig at them. You see, the women all dressed the same, in their LBD little black dress, who would know who-is-who? i keep joking that they were “a flock of socialites”, socialite-wanna-be that is. Before you think that our neighbours are not as stylish, i have to bite my tongue when i got to the other pub downstairs. The women there could give us a run for our money, they were modern and wow, were curvy at the right places. Sexy sirens. They allure sexiness like one seductive cat. The next morning, i told Brendan that if i were a man in KL, i probably would stay off the scene because i don’t think i could resist those sexy women or be faithful to one. So i guess there are both fashionable babes and those screaming mass-production ones there. Whatever the case, val was unhappy we had to go back and cut the party short. On the way back, she bit me on the arm. I don’t think she knew what she was doing and anyway, it happened. Of course i was mad at that moment, i am human made of flesh but i was grateful for that episode after that. Cos i learnt about my fury, about making amends, about love and understanding. All in an episode, how fascinating. for a split nano-second, i thought i could almost understand how God cursed Man but took it all back. I recapped my learning and joked that i was poppye the sailor man, making Brendan laughed his heads off and he had the humour to take a snap of me cooling the swell with a freezing can of tiger beer . Anyway, i do hope that val will move on and don’t think so much about it, like i said, i am glad it happened.
I also learnt about “trip / grip”. Trip- meaning an altered state of mind where some many people needed. You know, the feeling of all things loose, freedom and just loosing control. For a lay man, this can be achieved with just a drop too many and this is just normal clean fun. But as human, we tend to push our limits, try our limits, and sometimes, we don’t know when to stop. That’s when the grip part comes in. Grip is to have a hold. Have a hold of yourself when you are testing the limits. That is fine art. It takes a lot to know yourself and to know that sometimes, some things are not within your control, plus sometimes, some things get out-of-control. So you carry on exploring until you get both trip and grip at the same time. But you must always know what and when is it enough.
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